


Lawliet Alone

by Erinabow



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, M/M, autistic characters, slow burn lawlight
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-11
Updated: 2020-06-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24667744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Erinabow/pseuds/Erinabow
Summary: Lawliet has always been a pseudo older brother for Matt, Mello and Near- even more so after they all got fostered by the same family. But when their distant foster mother abandons them for a holiday in Spain, Lawliet finds himself wishing for nothing more than to be away from it all. Or at least, for someone to swoop in and help him. And if that someone just so happens to be his classmate from sixth form college, well he wouldn't exactly be complaining.
Relationships: L/Yagami Light, Matt | Mail Jeevas/Mello | Mihael Keehl
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	Lawliet Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! This is my first ever death note fic! I've been a fan of the series for more than 8 years now, but after rewatching the show recently I've definitely gotten back into the fandom, and now that I write a lot I wanted to give my best shot at this AU based on the book Lily Alone by Jaqueline Wilson, which still slaps hard even though I read it when I was like 11. This probably isn't going to be a majorly long fic, but I've not planned it out properly so we'll just see what happens! Hope you all enjoy! <3

Lawliet was tired of being the oldest sibling. The four of them had all been brought into a foster home a year prior by a couple who didn’t necessarily want kids, but definitely wanted the financial benefits that came with fostering. 

The four children had all come from the same orphanage, and Lawliet had always been an older brother figure for the others, especially for eleven-year-old Near who was mostly nonverbal and communicated mainly though sign language. It was harder for Lawliet to have an authority over 14-year olds Matt and Mello, since he was only two years older than them, but Matt would listen at least, and Mello tended to do whatever Matt asked of him. The two boys had been inseparable as children, and as teenagers that friendship had blossomed into a first romance for the two of them. Although, they would never let their foster parents know that.  
Their foster father had been the embodiment of hypermasculinity, with his loud voice and imposing physique. Everything about the man kept the children on edge, especially the big dog that was always by his side. 

One time, Near had been petting the dog and he got a little to close to it’s mouth, causing it to nip at his hand. It wasn’t a particularly hard bite, but it did break the skin. It was probably the sight of blood more than anything that shocked him, but their foster father’s anger at Near’s shrieking blew the whole situation up even more. The young boy couldn’t even see the dog without having a meltdown, so the family had to end up giving the dog away. 

A few weeks later, their foster father had died in a motorcycle accident, leaving their foster mother a grieving mess. Lawliet had always been more of a guardian to the other three because their foster parents had never bothered to learn the specific needs that each child had, but after their foster father’s death, it was like becoming an full time parent as well as a student for Lawliet. He cooked, cleaned and babysat until the children went to bed and it was time for him to do his schoolwork. He managed to get to sleep at midnight on a day without incident and had to wake up at 6AM the next day to cook breakfast and walk the kids to school before he had to head off to sixth form. 

It was because of this that Lawliet didn’t really have many friends. He wasn’t much of a social butterfly anyway and tended to spend most of his breaks at college catching up on what work he could. There was one guy though, Light Yagami. 

Light was a Japanese student who had transferred because of his father getting a high-ranking job at Scotland Yard. He in Lawliet’s psychology and criminology classes, and they got along because of how logical both of their minds were. Lawliet found that Light was the only person he could genuinely enjoy a conversation with, and even though he had decided years ago that relationships weren’t for him, he figured that he would make an exception if Light was interested.  
Not that Light would ever be interested, Lawliet always told himself. He didn’t even know if Light was… inclined the same way he was. 

All of that aside, Lawliet should have been expecting what happened to happen. 

It was late one night, and their foster mother had been out with friends. Matt and Mello had long since gone to sleep, and Lawliet had taken a restless Near into the living room to help calm him down. They lived in a small, dingy council flat on the outskirts of London, and all four children shared a bedroom. The two fourteen-year olds shared a mattress on the floor and little Near slept in the twin bed with Lawliet. 

Lawliet had been telling Near a story, speaking in a slow, soft tone as he cuddled his pseudo brother to his chest, the young boy staring at the wall with tired eyes as he listened. Eventually he fell asleep, and Lawliet just sat there, trying not to think about any number of horrible situations their foster mother could have gotten herself in to. He told himself that he was keeping Near with him so that his younger brother wouldn’t frighten if he woke up alone, but really Near was just a crutch to keep Lawliet grounded in the moment. 

At twenty to five in the morning, their foster mother came stumbling back into the flat. “Lawliet!” She said in shock, “I’m surprised you’re still up, mister! Well, I suppose it’s good really, I’ve got something I want to talk to you about,” She flopped next to him on the sofa, a glint in those eyes that had been dull for so long, “Go and pop that one in bed and come back, will you?” she gestured towards the sleeping Near in Lawliet’s arms. He nodded, a little dumbfounded at what could be so important that they needed to talk at nearly five in the morning. At least it was a school night.  
Matt stirred a little as Lawliet entered the room, and after tucking Near into bed, Lawliet went over and stroked his younger brother’s hair. “It’s alright, go back to sleep,” he murmured, and the barely conscious Matt did just that. 

Lawliet re-entered the living room, awkwardly hunched over in his usual stance with his hands in his pockets as he went over to where his foster mother was lazing on the couch. “I hope you’ve got a good reason for why you were out so late,” Lawliet grumbled, trying not to sound too bitter. 

“Oh, I do Lawli,” the woman sighed, “I’ve met a man!”

“A man?” Lawliet repeated. 

“His name’s Mike. God, he was such a gentleman, I didn’t even know that men like that still existed! We hit it off at the pub and then he took me out for dinner, dead romantic like, we had such a connection and well- long story short he’s asked me to go to Spain with him!” 

Lawliet blinked. “Oh… when?” 

“We’re going on Sunday,” she told him nonchalantly. 

“Sunday?” He asked incredulously. 

“That’s what I said didn’t I?” She snapped, “God, you are a dope sometimes Lawliet,” 

He cringed at that. There was nothing more insulting to Lawliet than a blow to his intelligence; it was the one thing he truly prided himself on. 

“But you can’t go on Monday, it’s the middle of the school term,” Lawliet argued meekly, hating how small and stupid he sounded, “Who’s going to look after us? And you’ve only met the man tonight, what if he wants to murder you? Or sell you into sex trafficking?” 

“Oh don’t be so dramatic,” she said flippantly, as if he was a small child throwing a tantrum, “I’m a grown woman I can look after myself. Besides you can look after the others can’t you? You’ve always done a much better job at that than I have anyway.”

Lawliet swallowed hard. He should have argued, should have told her that she was their guardian, that she was literally paid to look after them and the least she could do was be there for them. He should have reminded her that he was only sixteen, and that he was too young to have the responsibility of looking after three kids on top of being a full-time college student. But… she was right. He was better at looking after the others than she was, maybe it would be easier without her around, even if it was for just a week. 

“… Okay, fine.” Lawliet mumbled eventually. 

“You’re a star,” She grinned, that glint back in her eyes. She kissed his cheek before practically dancing to her bedroom, leaving Lawliet alone on the sofa. 

Sunday came, and she hadn’t even told the other three about her holiday plans. She ordered them pizza for dinner, a rare treat that made Mello practically bounce off the walls with excitement. Probably a distraction so that she could leave them without incident. 

_‘I’ll cook you pasta later’_ Lawliet signed to Near when he noticed how disheartened the youngest boy seemed. Near had always been very sensitive to textures, and when he was younger all he would eat was plain pasta. The orphanage had to send him to the hospital because of how underweight he was, and even though now he could eat a lot more foods than he used to, plain pasta was always a safe bet to go with. 

“Oh well, more for me,” Mello grinned when the pizza came, snatching Near’s plate away from him. 

“Mel, don’t be an asshole,” Matt chastised, “Don’t worry Near, I’ll make sure you get extra dessert,”

Their foster mother left her bedroom while they ate, lugging along a suitcase. She looked very glamorous for a woman about to ditch her kids for a week; her hair was all curled with a pair of knock off designer sunglasses perched on top of her head. 

“Right kids, I’m off,” she said, going around the table and kissing them all on the tops of their heads, even Near who squirmed away from her with irritation at the physical affection. “I’ll be back in a week, be good for Lawliet, go to bed when he says,” 

And just like that she was gone. 

The three younger boys stared at the front door to the apartment, as if they were expecting her to walk back in and give some sort of explanation for her abrupt departure. 

“What the hell does she mean, she’ll be back in a week?” Mello asked, the cheese slowly sliding off the piece of pizza he held limply in his hand. 

_‘Where’s Kath?’_ Near signed, spelling her name phonetically. He had never deemed her important enough to have a name sign like the ones that he had given to his foster brothers. 

“She’s gone on holiday,” Lawliet said, his throat feeling like sandpaper as the realisation of the burden that was on him finally hit. 

“Holiday? What do you mean she’s gone on holiday? Without us?” Matt asked, the usually calm and composed boy suddenly looking very frightened, his body tensing in on itself. 

“Why didn’t you tell us Lawliet?” Mello said angrily, “Why did you just let her walk out on us like that?” 

Near let out a small whimper, bringing his hands up to his chest and clenching and unclenching them, a telltale sign that he was about to have a meltdown. 

“Mello will you quiet down? You’re upsetting your brother,” Lawliet said calmly. 

“Yeah? Well newsflash Lawliet, I think we’re all pretty fucking upset right now!” he shouted back. 

Near’s whines got louder and louder until he was practically shouting, rocking backwards and forwards in his chair. Mello was yelling, a tearful Matt was asking questions and it was all too much. It was too much for Lawliet who shouldn’t be having to deal with this. 

He ran his hands through his hair, trying to calm himself down using all the techniques that he had taught himself, but it was no good. 

“SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!” He yelled, stunning them all into silence, even Near who had never seen Lawliet lose his composure like that. 

In that moment, he hated them. He hated his foster siblings. He was sick of being their caretaker, he was just a kid himself, where was his caretaker? He wanted to run out of the apartment just like their foster mother had done. He wanted to leave them all there and let someone else deal with this problem because it shouldn’t be his fucking responsibility. 

But he couldn’t do that. Whether he liked it or not, this was his responsibility, and right now he had three frightened kids to look after. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to shout,” he said quietly. “Why don’t we… why don’t we watch a film?” 

He settled the three kids on the sofa and let them pick a film while he filled up a big bowl with dry cornflakes, sprinkling some sugar on top. 

“Look, it’s like popcorn, like we’re really at the cinema,” He said, sitting himself between Matt and Near as The Aristocats started to play. It was probably the one film they could all agree on, as the orphanage used to have it on VHS and they would often watch it there. Matt would often joke that he, Mello and Near were like the mischievous kittens in the film, and that Lawliet was the sensible mother cat that kept them all in line. 

There was no joking that night though, they all sat in a slowly darkening room, the harsh luminescence of the television reflecting on their faces as Lawliet wished that just like in the film, someone would swoop in and help him take care of this mess.


End file.
